From the Creators of: The Relationship Dating Advice Lounge

Single in the City

Are you enjoying a single, relationship free life?  Free to date and have fun; do whatever you want to do and go wherever you want to go?  Or...Are you looking for the love of your life? There are lots of people right now who are alone by choice.  Some are divorced and vowed never to remarry. Some have had issues dealing with relationships and no longer want the stress. Also...there are some who cannot find that "right" person.

Below, I am going to explain the upside and downside of rollin' solo.


The Upside to Being Single

You don’t have to answer to anyone. When in a relationship, you have to compromise, making sure your partner is happy and you are happy. There is work that must be put into keeping a relationship floating.  But, being solo…hell, you have the freedom to roam the universe…no questions asked! You can attend happy hours or an evening event and stay out as long as you want. 

When you go home, you don’t have to deal with the questioning of the who, what, when and where.  You don’t have the responsibility of preparing meals for anyone but yourself (excluding single parents). You can do pretty much whatever it is that you want to do without having to be on lockdown.  If you are not in search of someone, then have fun with dating.  It can be entertaining to you because you get to try out new spots, cuisines and different social atmospheres. 

Also, this is the best time to take care of yourself. Get your career in order, finish school, create a business, and get your money right. There is so much to do and take care of while you do not have to focus on anyone else.

The Downside to Being Single

For some, it can get very lonely at times.  Sometimes all you want is a commitment. You may have it all; great job making lots of money, your own house and a car, yet no one to share it with. Inside, you may yearn for that special someone. While this is what we all seek, chillin by yourself can be interesting and fun, and can also become redundant and exhausting. You can go on a date or three only to find out that this is not the person for you, so you move on to the next candidate.

Another downside would be the fact that every new person you meet, you have to go through the same steps of getting to know them.  You continuously ask the same questions over and over until you vibe with that special someone!  Why not just write a list of things you want answered and draw a line to the right for them to answer or have them check yes and no boxes…Just Kidding!

The Financial Aspect of Being Single

Being single can from a financial perspective, be a wonderful experience.  If you are single with no children, you have your money all to yourself.  You do not have any obligation to share it.  You can travel, party, and do whatever you like.  If you know how to manage your money well, you can save a bundle, or invest in aggressive stocks.  Why not, you have no obligations and nothing really to lose.  You have NO dependents!  

If you are single with children, you have more of an obligation and money, if you are not making a lot of it, can be a little tight.  You have to make sure you maintain your child(ren) daily expenses and make sure that all of your child’s needs are met.  In the realm of that aspect, it may be difficult for a single parent in this day and age, or anyone for that matter, to save as life’s curveballs can consume your money.  If you can afford to put aside at least $25.00 a paycheck, it could definitely go a long way over time.  If you cannot afford to save, single or not, use the following steps below:

  • Determine your incoming and outgoing amount - You can set up a budget sheet through Microsoft Excel or whatever program or format you choose to use.  Keep a record of your daily spending on your budget sheet.  Doing this, will allow you to see where your money is going.
  • Find loopholes in your budget - Are there bills or other expenditures that you can cut out altogether?  This process allows you to see the amount of money you can potentially save.
  • Open up a high yield interest account - Stashing your money into this type of account can build interest in the long term, which will help your money grow. 
  • DO NOT TOUCH IT - Only in absolute emergencies should this money be touched.

Taking the necessary steps above to secure a long term savings will help you out for your future needs.


Are You Looking for Mr./Mrs. Right?

Okay, you are one of the romantics looking for a partner and having no luck at all.  Try doing some of the following things below to help jump start your search for your love mate:

Hang out at different locations -Choose places where the type of person you are looking for would be.  Potential places like the library, jazz club, happy hour, art gallery, summit meeting, gala, poetry night, concert, and festivals may give you some ideas.  The things that you like to do and would like for your potential partner to be interested in will determine where you will want to meet them. Being single can be so much fun especially if you meet the right people at the right times.

Flirt with your potential mate - It is the new day and age, don’t be scared to get a little playful with flirting. You can flirt by playing up your assets; whatever you always get complimented on and use it to your advantage.  The number one thing I hear most often is that some women are not approachable.  If you allow yourself to be nice, smile often, and let down that wall, you will eventually meet someone with your inviting attitude.  No one will approach a person who has their mean face on all of the time.  If after your efforts you see the person is not biting keep it moving, they may not be interested. 



Are your standards too high?

There is this stigma in the world today of single people, especially women, not being able to find that perfect person because we do not have enough choices.  WRONG!  There are plenty of choices out here.  There is no one, perfect person on this earth.  Are you looking for someone who is this super god/goddess…who pretty much is unattainable? While dating, are you asking all of the right questions to eliminate those who do not fit the bill?

I am not saying you need to lower your standards, but continue to “refresh” your potential mate list of wants and want-nots.  If one of your issues is staying inside of your race, experiment with dating outside of your race.  You never know that your prospective hubby/wifey is right there waiting for you.  I am not saying completely go against your list, but being a little lenient in one aspect of it could open the door to something wonderful for you in the future.  Give it a shot!

Don't believe me?  Read how one guy tweaked his potential mate list and found a potential wife candidate!

Are you single and have a story to tell, click here

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