From the Creators of: The Relationship Dating Advice Lounge

Should I Go to the Darkside For My Lighting Designer?

by Serena
(NYC)

I met Vlad in college. He was the lighting designer for my dance performances. I had a crush on him since the first day I saw him, but I knew he had a serious girlfriend. I thought of him as off limits until he began texting me things like "I want to pull your hair and hear you orgasm." I knew it was wrong but I thought it was really sexy.

These texts continued for over six months and then I heard he broke up with his girlfriend. That day he texted me and said "let's hang out and see if we will really like each other." Well, we quickly realized that we did and we began hanging out more and more. It was passionate, intellectual, artistic, and.. hot! Even when I left the country for a couple of months, he emailed me constantly.

Then, all of the sudden it stopped. No warning! Vlad just disappeared. Then a few months later, I ran into him. I learned that he had a new girlfriend. However, he began sending me messages again and the next time I saw him we had a steamy make-out session.

When I asked him whether he felt badly, he said "no, my girlfriend wouldn't care." Again, I knew it was wrong, but it felt so good. What should I do? Should I keep seeing him or not?

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Feb 18, 2014
It's About What You Want
by: The Love Mistress

Hi Serena,

I really hope you are not looking for anything serious with this guy. From what I see, he was wrong from the beginning to send you texts while in a relationship. Even more so...he disappeared on you for a couple of months with no explanation and came back already in a relationship with someone else? (Can we say serial dater!!)

Let me ask you this? Do you want more from him? If so, have you had that conversation with him? If you do want more, dontcha think that what he did to his last girlfriend and his current girlfriend he would do to you too?

It is ultimately about what you want. If you don't mind sharing him with another woman and playing second...then do you! However, I am an extreme believer in karma and what you doing coming back to you one day.

So...in answering your questions, it is clearly about what you want and what you expect to get out of this thing you guys have. Don't get me wrong, I am definitely not saying stay and continue to be the "other woman". However, just think about things from his girlfriend's perspective and if the shoe was on the other foot. How would you feel if you found out that some chick is screwing around with your man?

I'm just sayin! :-)

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